Twilight Text Off
by ALittleLessThanEternity
Summary: Twilight Text off! Starring Alice and the Cullen gang! Post Breaking Dawn
1. Chapter 1: Code Blue

**Twilight Text Off!!! Sorry, I know this Isn't that great. But hey, cut me some slack, It's my first FanFic!!  
**

Code Blue

Alice: Bella! Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella!!!

Bella: What what what?

Alice: Code Blue, Code Blue!

Bella: Wht?

Alice: Ugh! We have an emergency!

Bella: Wht? Is Edward okay?

Alice: *sigh* Yes, Eddie-wardo is okay. Nobody will go shopping with me!!!

Bella: And...?

Alice: And..you're going to the mall with me!

**Edward joins conversation**

Edward: don't do it Bells!

Alice: You'll never stop me! Mwa ha-ha!!!

Edward: shes right...i wont stop her

Bella: Whaaa-?

Alice: heeheee:)

Edward: Ali is unstoppable. especially when it comes to her and her shopping needs.

Bella: well have jazz take her credit cards!

Alice: I hid them in my bra! And I stole his credit cards too. See ya soon, chicka!!!

**Alice leaves conversation**

Bella: Should i be scared?

Edward: Yes. she will be at your house in 2

Bella: Crap. How do I stop her?

Edward: ....

Bella: so your basically telling me I'm screwed?

Edward: Yep

Bella: Crap. she's here

Edward: oh

Bella: Hiya, Eddie! It's me! Bells will be by nine.

Edward: but that's 7 hours!

Bella: And?

Edward: ugh. fine, nine then.

Bella: Good! bye!

**Edward leaves conversation**

**Do you like it? Please give me some feedback! The next one will be longer, I promise!  
**

**XOXO,**

**funsizedshopper:)  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Family Dollar

**Twilight Text Off Here's the next one!  
**

Family Dollar

Alice: Good morning everybody!

Edward: hello

Bella: hey!

Emmett: iHola!

Jasper: since when do you know anything about spanish?

Edward: he saw me doing my homework.

Emmett: ...tattle tale...

Alice: So, I saw that Eddie was going to take Bella shopping today!

Edward: its EDWARD!

Bella: oh no..i do enough of that with Alice

Edward: *snickers*

Jasper: Emmett and i are going to play Grand Theft Auto 2!

Alice: It's way more fun in real life

Emmett: wait wait wait, can i tell them?

Edward: NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Alice: NOOOOO!!!!!

Jasper: YESS!!!!!

Bella: What??!!??!!?

Alice: Emmett is going to make Jazzy take all of my credit cards, bring me to Family Dollar, and force me to buy something that is only a DOLLAR!!!!

Edward: And Emmett gave Nessie a be-dazzler and she be-dazzled my car!

Bella: Renesmee!!!!!

Emmett: hahaa! and i gave her Red Bull and told her if she drank all of it in a minute, id let Rose give her a makeover

Jasper: shes going nuts!!!!

Bella: EMMETT!!!!!

Alice: Idiots. I'm gonna go hide my credit cards!

**Alice has left the conversation**

Jasper: Oh crap!

**Jasper has left the conversation**

Bella: Want me to go with you to buy a new car?

Edward: yes

Emmett: epic fail. im gonna go calm nessie down

**Emmett has left the conversation**

Bella: did Alice get her credit cards back?

**Alice has entered the conversation**

Alice: Yes, yes I did! Yay! AmEx and Mrs. Visa will feel neglected no longer! I'm going to the mall and I'm bringing Ness with me!

**Alice has left the conversation**

Bella: she doesn't even wait for an answer. *sigh*

**Bella has left the conversation**

**Edward has left the conversation**

**Read and review!**

**XOXO,**

**funsizedshopper:)  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Ponies

**Twilight Text Off Haha...I love Emmett  
**

Ponies

Emmett: heehee

Jasper: What's so funny?

Emmett: I bought everyone a My Little Pony!

Edward: and theyre electronic.

Alice: I named mine Chanel!

Jasper: How come every time we give you something you name it after your favorite purse that day?

Alice: Because I can

Emmett: I named mine teddy!

Edward: you do realize that teddy bears are nothing like ponies right?

Renesmee: Mines cute!

Alice: Nessie named hers Jacob

Renesmee: Hey! no telling!

Edward: eww

Jasper: mine keeps on saying I love you. over. and over. and over again.

Emmett: They walk too!!

Alice: Aww! Mine said 'I love you', too! I love you too, Chanel!

Edward: *rolls eyes*

Alice: Uh-oh. Bella doesn't like hers...

**Bella enters conversation**

Bella: How do you turn this stupid thing off?!?!

Edward: You could always take out the batteries

Bella: I did! and it keeps on saying 'I love you'!

Jasper: try crushing it

Emmett: Nooo!!! youll hurt her!

Renesmee: Ill take it! Jacob needs a friend

Bella: you named yours Jacob?

Renesmee: Yup!!

Alice: Isn't it cute?

Bella: Um..no?

Emmett: What are you gonna name it, ness?

Renesmee: Hmm....Cupcake!

Alice: I love that!!!!

Edward: Bella, honey, want to go to the cottage?

Bella: Sure..:)

Emmett: TMI alert!!!!!

Jasper: Ugghh...Eddie calm yourself!

Edward: Its EDWARD.

**Edward has left the conversation**

**Bella has left the conversation**

Jasper: Oopsie.

Alice: *snickers*

Emmett: WHAT?!?!?

Alice: He broke his Pony.

Emmett: Murderer!!!!!!!

Emmett has left the conversation

Jasper has left the conversation

Renesmee: What happened?

Alice: Emmett is chasing Jasper. Oooh...there went Esme's favorite table...

Renesmee: Hope they make it to Canada before they destroy the house..

Alice: Yeah..hey, want to play dress up?

Renesmee: Oh yeah!!!!!

**Alice has left the conversation**

**Renesmee has left the conversation**

**I need more ideas...help me!!!!**

**XOXO,**

**funsizedshopper:)  
**


	4. Chapter 4: Ch 1, 2, and 3 Disclaimer

Whoopsie! I forgot to add the disclaimer for chapters 1-3.

**Disclaimer: I, Mallory P., as unfortunate as it may be, do not own the characters in the Twilight saga. Stephenie Meyer does.**


	5. Chapter 5: Beach

**Twilight Text Off**

**Disclaimer: Blah. All of the Twilight characters are not mine. They are Stephanie Meyers. (For now...*Mwa ha haa!*)**

**Beach**

Renesmee: Alice! Where are you and Jazz?

Alice: At the house. where, unfortunately, we have to stay until everybody leaves. :( Stupid humans

Renesmee: Hey, thats partly offensive!

Alice: Haha whoopsie:) sry hybrid girl

Renesmee: Just becuz im "hybrid girl" doesnt mean im incapable of ripping your head off

Alice: but u wouldn't hurt your dear aunt alice:) y did u want to go to the beach anyways?

Renemee: cuz.

**Edward joins conversation**

Edward: hey! what's up?

Renesmee: waiting for everybody to leave the beach

Alice: ill have you know that everyone will be gone in 3 minutes. also, eddie, nessie wasnt going to actually rip my head off, so no need to worry about me:)

Edward: actually, i was going to help her

Renesmee: yay!

Alice: no u werent

Edward: no, but it would be fun

Renesmee: All clear u guys! u can head down now. And tell Emmett to bring a snorkel

Edward: Why would Emmett need a snorkel

**Jasper enters conversation**

Jasper: Can we come down now? Waiting with Emmett is excruciating. All he talks about is how much 'fun' it would be to use his Mermaid My Little Pony to take him to Atlantis.

Renesmee: Hey! That was my idea!

Alice: And that is y she needed the snorkel

**Emmett enters the conversation**

Emmett: Ness! u got the snorkels?

Renesmee: No i need u 2 get them

Emmett: kay. rose will hate this idea..hahaa

Alice: hey Em? get me a snorkel too. I wanna come with *grabs Mermaid My Little Pony and heads to beach*

Emmett: got it

**Alice has left the conversation**

**Emmett has left the conversation**

Edward: why are you guys going to Atlantis?

Renesmee: Cuz we can!

**Renesmee has left the conversation**

Edward: how is that a response

**Renesmee AutoReply:** because it is

**Edward has left the conversation**


End file.
